The Best of Between Grief and Joy:

Reader Favorites You May Have Missed and What's to Come

After a year and 48 posts, I’ve shared my personal journey, poems, books, images and insights on grief, healing, and the profound beauty found in life’s complexities. Along the way, the ten posts I list below have stood out as reader favorites.

Whether you missed them the first time or want to revisit them, I’m excited to share them with you here. In this space, I’ve worked to not only explore individual stories about grief, but to share insights on how relationships, language, and community care play vital roles in our joy and in our healing.

1. What if you grieved with your teacher every year on your birthday

This personal essay was my very first post on the platform and shares why one of my former students will always remember a day I can’t forget.

“I share this because I want to consider that theoretically, I always knew that while one person is celebrating, another is grieving, but I had never considered the ripples of my own grief or how a birth of my student and a death of my child could bind me to both simultaneously across time.” Read more.

2. What we wish people didn’t say

We've all been there — words offered in times of sorrow said with the best intentions that don’t land that way. This piece sprung from a book I read that tapped on a past memory of being hurt by words intended to comfort. It explores the impact some of these phrases may have on others as well as alternatives. What I learned through readers who commented or emailed is there are some things we truly need to hear in our darkest moments—their name.

Here’s a bit of one reader’s comment:

“I don't remember most of what was said to me. I was in shock and it is all a blur now. But I do remember some people held my hands and looked me in the eyes and didn't say anything, and that was enough. The only words that really hurt were "there are no words" because of course, there are always words. Especially just saying her name. The one word we really want to hear.”

You can read the entire post here.

3. How to Write Yourself Well

“I think when writing for therapeutic purposes, you’re not simply writing to record what happened, when it happened, and possibly why it happened. You are writing to be present. You're writing with your senses. You’re writing about the experiences or situation that you're growing and healing from with a goal in mind: to reinforce self-love and compassion and to forgive yourself and possibly others."

Read more.

4. Nothing Gold Can Stay

The piece begins with me reading the poem I first heard in the movie The Outsiders. It includes thoughts it conjured for my present self and closes with questions for the reader to consider because “Poetry asks you to keep time and hold language and image together in the present.”

You can listen to me read the poem and ask those questions here

5. Alignment:

This one begins with sharing a bit about my sciatic journey and what I learned through managing this physical pain while reflecting on if we need a lesson for our suffering as much as we need relief.

Have you ever explored how can we find balance between our inner selves and the world around us knowing the experience pain, whether physical or emotional is inevitable?

Here’s the link to read and share.

6. See a Penny Pick it up, See a Butterfly get close up

I was raised to accept that God’s mysteries could manifest in a variety of ways. I was that kid who avoided the cracks that could break my mother’s back. I never opened an umbrella in the house, and I picked up a penny whenever I saw one glistening on the ground because I believed all day long I would have good luck. Thankfully, I no longer see life this simply or feel my individual actions have this much control over other people’s lives, inanimate objects, or universal law.

Eventually, all my childhood superstitions faded away, but…read more

7. When Death Doesn’t Deliver Forgiveness

Grief can be complicated by unfinished business. Through a personal observation, research and by sharing the wisdom handed down to me by my mother, I explore the difficult reality of how forgiveness doesn’t always come with death and what that means for our healing. Read here

8. Knowing What to do

When we face the grief of others, it’s hard to know what to do or say. In this post, I work to offer guidance on the subtle but profound ways we can show up for others.

Here’s one reader’s response:

“This is so beautiful and real. I find myself thinking ahead for the days when someone close may need me. And also, I remember all the times I've been asked, "What do you need me to do?" and how there are no answers to those questions. But you answered them here. Thank you”

Click here to read.

9. “If it isn’t love”

This piece explores how the friendships and support systems we need can shift across time and circumstances. It’s also a love note for 80’s concerts, neighborhood friends and those who show up when you need them.

“Sometimes these kinds of things help, and sometimes they don’t. I hope it helped that she had two of her oldest and dearest friends on both sides of her, singing with her one moment, and holding her up the next.” Read more

10. Healing is a Personal Journey

Everyone’s path through grief is different. This post affirms the importance of honoring your own healing process, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

In this post I suggest, “If we own our own pain, perhaps we can own our healing.” Read here.

Which post was your favorite?

Please leave a comment below with the post that spoke to you the most.

What next…

These pieces are just a glimpse of the ongoing exploration of grief, joy, healing, and personal growth we will share. I say we because I will continue to add other voices to the conversation.

Next week I will be going live for the first time on Substack with

Casey Mulligan Walsh

, the author of the Full Catastrophe. Join us at 6PM EST on March 7 to listen to Casey share her grief, healing and memoir journey.

I hope you find Between Grief and Joy a space where you find mirrors for your experience, windows to understand others and confirmation that your emotions are valid, your healing is supported, and you are not alone.

Thank you for reading,

Yolande

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